Funny Wedding Ceremony Script

Funny newlywed husband kicking heels after getting married

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~10 Minute Ceremony

Marriage is a serious commitment, but that doesn’t mean the wedding ceremony has to be. As opposed to a strict traditional affair, some couples prefer to keep the audience laughing and entertained with a funny wedding script. This version checks all the legal boxes while maintaining a light and fun tone throughout.

Welcome Statement / Introduction

OFFICIANT (to congregation):

There are 7.7 billion people in the world and most of them are not here at this wedding. How special does that make you? Out of the billions of people living on the planet earth _________ and _________ have asked you to join them as they enter into the amazing institution of marriage. So, the least you can do is put your phone on silent, ok?

Finding “the one” out of all the people in the entire world should be impossible! But __________ and __________ found each other! What are the chances? I don’t know – I’m not great at math – but it’s seems pretty unlikely. Yet, here they are, in front of their friends and family making the impossible seem not only possible, but inevitable.

Was it destiny? Happenstance? Total dumb luck? Who cares? The important thing is it’s happening! _________ and _________ are getting married. Today! Right now! No, really. Right now!

Declaration of Intent

OFFICIANT (to _________):

Do you _________, take _________ to be “the one”? The one you not only give love, respect and compassion to, but also allow yourself to receive the same from?

_________: I do

OFFICIANT (to _________):

And do you, _________, take _________ to be “the one”? The one you not only give love, respect and compassion to, but also allow yourself to receive the same from?

_________: I do

Vow/Ring Exchange

OFFICIANT (to congregation):

May I please have the two rings?

This is a ring, and this is a ring. 1 + 1 = 2, right? But these two individual rings are a grand symbol of the final numbers we’re considering on this very special day. 2 separate rings create the very special bond of husband/wife/partner and husband/wife/partner, a married couple. So, in this case 1 + 1 = an even greater 1….Like I said I’m not that great at math.

(Couple may now exchange written vows)

The Pronouncement

OFFICIANT (to couple):

Looking at the two of you, I can see it clearly; my impossible math works! 1 + 1 truly does equal an even greater one; that of an officially married couple. And so, I am extremely honored to officially pronounce _________ and _________ legally wed.

That’s it, you did it, you’re married! You may now, for all the world to see, kiss your first l kiss as newlyweds!

Closing Statement

OFFICIANT (to couple):

There will be good days and there will be bad. I wish you so many more good than bad. But on days both good and bad I want you to remember how lucky you both are to have beaten the odds and found one another. Let that make the bad days less bad and the good days that much sweeter.