Funny Wedding Vow Examples

Funny Wedding Vow Dos and Don’ts

Striking the right balance is key for humorous wedding vows. Here are some things to do and things to avoid:

• DO Know Your Audience: Ensure your humor aligns with the couple’s personalities and the overall tone of the wedding.
• DON’T Overdo It: Too many jokes can overshadow the solemnity of the occasion.
• DON’T Be Insensitive: Avoid jokes that could offend or embarrass anyone present.
• DO Balance Humor With Heart: For best results, combine humorous and heartfelt sentiments. Never sacrifice sincerity for a punchline.

Personalized humor inspired by anecdotes can be effective in creating a memorable occasion for all. Consider these examples as a go-by or a starting point.

Short and Sweet

Humor is like a good fragrance; a little goes a long way. Try these short and sweet ideas for wedding-day fun:

• “I promise to always share my french fries.”
• “I will never hide the remote.”
• “I will laugh at all of your jokes, even the corny ones.”

Longer and Situational

Sometimes, the best humor comes from scenarios that are relatable to the couple and others in their circle. Here are some ideas:

• “I swear to seriously consider all your crazy ideas, even if that means violating the HOA by painting the house purple.”
• “I promise that I will love you and respect you by never watching a new episode of our favorite streaming series without you.”
• “I will always be your partner in crime, especially when it comes to stealing extra blankets.”
• “I commit my entire life to you. What’s mine is yours, including the last slice of pizza, until the end of time.”

Absurd Scenarios

Humor is often found in absurd or bizarre situations. Consider these examples, but ponder your audience and the formality of the event:

• Time Traveling: "If we’re ever living like the Jetsons and the Flintstones, where flying cars are commonplace, and dinosaurs are pets, I promise to always have your back, even if it means piloting a time machine to rescue you from a T-Rex."
• Alien Abduction: “I know how much you love reality TV, so if we’re ever abducted by aliens for an intergalactic reality show, I promise to be your smartphone cameraperson and ride-or-die.”
• Zombie Apocalypse: “In the event of a zombie apocalypse, I vow to be your fearless zombie-slaying partner. I'll protect you with my life. I\’ll let the zombies feast on my body so you can escape."
• Fantasy World: “In a world of dragons, unicorns, and talking animals, I promise to be your brave knight, your wise wizard, and your loyal steed, all rolled into one.

Sarcastic Vows

Sarcasm doesn’t always land, but you might try your hand at a slightly sardonic tone:

• “I promise to tolerate your existence for as long as humanly possible. I may even share the remote with you occasionally, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
• “I vow to never let you know what I’m buying with my secret checking account, which I’ll never admit to having, as long as we both live.”
• “I solemnly swear to be your partner in crime, as long as it’s a misdemeanor and doesn’t involve jail time. And if it does, I’ll try not to rat you out.”
• “I’ll always be there for you, except when I’m busy, sleepy, or hungry. Even then, I promise to show up eventually.”