Writing wedding vows is one of those things that sounds easy in theory. You understand your partner and your relationship better than anyone, so how hard can it be to write about it?
It turns out that in practice, the answer is: very hard. There’s a lot of pressure to get your vows “right” – which can lead to countless thrown-out drafts and writer’s block. If you find yourself struggling to put profound emotions into words, know that you’re not alone.
Here’s the good news: many couples we’ve talked to find that using a wedding vows template and prompts can help unlock their vow writing and get the ball rolling towards a final product that they – and their partner – are immensely happy with.
Below, you’ll find a sample wedding vow outline, a vow template, and list of curated prompt questions that can help you to make your vows extra meaningful and unique. Once you understand the basic structure of how wedding vows work and get into the flow, we’re confident that the words will come easily and that you’ll have amazing personalized vows in no time. Remember: writing should be fun. Good luck!
Wedding Vow Outline
Expressing all your feelings about your soon-to-be spouse can be overwhelming. How can you possibly fit everything important about your relationship into one short piece of writing? We’ve found that it helps immensely to break your vows down into separate sections that you can tackle one at a time, before coming back later to make sure they work together as a cohesive whole. With that in mind, here’s a tried-and-true outline for writing wedding vows that rise to the occasion:
Section 1: Start at the beginning
Prompt: Go to the memory bank
Try opening with a specific early memory from your relationship, like how you met, or what your first date was like – and how it went or what you thought of your partner at that time. This is a good opportunity to be candid and use a little humor, if you want to.
Section 2: Build the story
Prompt: What drew you to your partner
There is something about this person that made you realize, “I think this could be real.” Talk about the personality traits or qualities that you noticed (or came to notice) in your partner that brought you closer to them.
Section 3: Look to the future
Prompt: Say what you’re excited about
Say why you’re looking forward to marriage and the future you’re going to share. List a couple goals you’ve discussed or things you’re excited about doing together.
Section 4: Vow something (or things!)
Prompt: Make specific promises
No vows would be complete without the commitments you plan to make to your partner. You can list as many as you want, but don’t go crazy (between 3 and 7 is generally a sweet spot). These promises can vary between sweet and serious, heartfelt and funny – be sure to consult your partner so you’re on the same page about that mix, though.
Section 5: Close strong
Prompt: Remember to say, “I love you.”
Even if you take a more playful approach to your vows overall, you can never go wrong ending on a serious note. After all, the day is about the love you share and the commitment you’re making because of it. Don’t forget to include that part!
Build Your Own Vows Template, Mad Libs-Style
Looking for a creative way to write your wedding vows? Remember playing Mad Libs as a kid? Check out our fill-in-the-blank Mad Libs vows template. Begin by adding some playful words to see how it reads. Once you’re feeling more comfortable, fill in the template with details unique to your relationship. This approach allows you to create vows that are one-of-a-kind and truly personal, but without agonizing over the structure.
14 Questions to Help You Write Personalized Vows
When writing personalized vows, seeing some prompt questions can be hugely helpful. Whether you’re suffering from severe writer’s block or simply need a little nudge in the right direction, we’ve compiled a list of 14 questions to guide you in drafting and composing deeply meaningful wedding vows:
1. What was your first impression when you met?
- Expert Tip: Sharing your initial thoughts can highlight the magical beginning of your relationship, making your vows personal and nostalgic. Think about that first moment when you met your partner. What stood out? What were your thoughts or feelings? Did you like them right away, or did it take some time? This can add a charming – or funny – touch to your vows.
- Template version: [NAME], when we met, my first thought was __________.
2. When did you realize you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
- Expert Tip: Pinpointing the moment you fell in love adds a deeply personal touch and shows the growth of your relationship. Reflect on a specific moment or action that made you realize you were in love. This gives your vows a heartfelt foundation.
- Template version: [NAME], I first knew I was in love with you when __________.
3. What do you admire most about your partner?
- Expert Tip: Reflecting on your partner’s best qualities can make them feel appreciated and celebrated. Think about how these qualities have impacted you or inspired you.
- Template version: The way that you __________ makes me feel/has helped me to __________.
4. Why is marriage important to you?
- Expert Tip: Expressing the significance of marriage demonstrates your commitment and shared values. Consider why you’re choosing to marry this person and what marriage means to you. This grounds your vows in a shared vision.
- Template version: Marriage to me means __________. Marrying you means __________.
5. How has your outlook changed since meeting your partner?
- Expert Tip: Discussing changes in your perspective shows the positive impact your partner has had on your life. Reflect on how your partner has influenced your view of the world or life.
- Template version: Since meeting you, I’ve realized/changed my mind about __________.
6. What are your future goals or aspirations together?
- Expert Tip: Sharing your dreams and vision for the future brings structure to your vows. Think about the coming years together and what you hope they will look like.
- Template version: I can’t wait to do __________ with you.
7. What common values do you share?
- Expert Tip: Laying out your shared values reinforces the foundation of your relationship. Identify the core beliefs you both hold and reiterate them.
- Template version: We both value __________, which helps us __________.
8. How will you grow together?
- Expert Tip: Planning for a life of partnership means growing together and always working as a team. Consider the ways you want to evolve in your partnership.
- Template version: I see a future where we continue to __________ while working to __________.
9. What’s an analogy that best describes your relationship?
- Expert Tip: This prompt can bring out the serious or the silly, depending on what direction you choose to take it. Example: I see our relationship like a Wi-Fi connection – sometimes it's strong and perfect, other times we need a little maintenance or a reboot, but no matter what happens I couldn’t live without it.
- Template version: To me, our relationship is like __________ because __________.
10. What promises will you make to your partner?
- Expert Tip: Wedding vows are, at their heart, a set of promises. Making specific and unique promises will personalize your vows and demonstrate your commitment to a lifelong partnership that is grounded in mutual respect, selflessness, and devotion to your spouse.
Note: it’s fine to make some of these funny or more lighthearted (e.g. I promise to never leave my dirty yogurt bowls in the sink), but make sure you mix in some serious promises, too. - Template version: From this day forward, I promise to __________ and never __________.
- Expert Tip: Wedding vows are, at their heart, a set of promises. Making specific and unique promises will personalize your vows and demonstrate your commitment to a lifelong partnership that is grounded in mutual respect, selflessness, and devotion to your spouse.
11. What do you look forward to in your marriage?
- Expert Tip: Your wedding is only the beginning, marking the start of an incredible journey. Talk about what you look forward to about married life. Always having someone who’s game to share a large popcorn at the movies? A shoulder to cry on during life’s low moments? You can approach this prompt however feels best.
- Template version: I’m looking forward to __________ as we __________.
12. What do you appreciate most about your partner’s family?
- Expert Tip: You’re not just joining in a partnership – you’re also marrying into an entire family. Talk about their best qualities or what you most look forward to about being a new addition to that network.
- Template version: Now that I’m officially part of the __________ family, I can’t wait to/I can finally say/I look forward to __________.
13. Do you want traditional lines included?
- Expert Tip: Some cliches are cliches for a reason. Lines like “for richer or for poorer, in good health and bad” have been part of wedding ceremonies for centuries because they signify an enduring and powerful concept: unconditional love. Feel free to include those words if you want, modify them, or skip them altogether.
- Template version: I promise to love you no matter what, __________.
14. What are you thankful for in your partner?
- Expert Tip: Bottom line: you wouldn’t be marrying this person if there wasn’t something special about them. There’s no better place to highlight what you cherish in your partner than in your wedding vows. Don’t forget to talk about how the make the world – and your life – better each day.
- Template version: Everyday, I am grateful for how you __________ because __________.
How Long Should Your Wedding Vows Be?
Looking at this list of prompts, you’re probably wondering: how long should my vows be? In reality, they can be as long or short as you want (it’s your wedding after all). That said, here are some basic guidelines to consider:
- Align with your partner: You’ll want to be sure both your vows are roughly similar lengths. If you don’t plan to share with each other before the big day, plan to read through your vows separately with a timer to make sure you’re in the same ballpark.
- Don’t write a novel: If your vows take thirty minutes to read aloud, they start to lose their luster. You might have a lot to say, and that’s totally understandable! But by editing down your writing to only the most important points, it can actually make your vows more impactful, as each word is carefully chosen for maximum effect.
- Don’t write a haiku: On the flipside, vows that are really short risk giving the impression that you rushed through it – or worse – don’t have much to say. If you’re looking for ideas of what to include, just scroll back up to the template!
- Aim for a happy medium: As a general rule, a good length for wedding vows is 3-5 minutes when spoken aloud.
