Weddings usually come with some drama, that’s just the nature of the beast when planning such a big event with so many moving parts. But there’s drama, then there’s drama – and sometimes it's not clear who is in the right and who's in the wrong.
Enter the popular website Reddit, which has a dedicated forum where you can tell your story and poll the internet to see what they think. Using the tag "Am I the A**hole" (AITA), curious users can tell the latest dramatic happening from their lives and get a verdict: a-hole, or not an a-hole.
In a post going viral this week, a bride wanted to know if it was unreasonable to ask her fiance not to invite his 98-year-old grandmother to the reception. She turned to the internet to ask "Am I The A**hole?" The reaction was immense.
Inspired by this latest controversy, we're listing the top 5 cases of extreme wedding drama and tallying up the scores.
A-holes, or not a-holes? You let us know!
Banning Granny
The post heard 'round the internet: a bride-to-be asked if she was in the wrong for forbidding her fiance’s 98-year-old grandma from attending the wedding reception. We posted the full story on Facebook, where our friends felt strongly on the subject (just check the comments 👀):
And if you were curious about Reddit’s verdict: A-hole
Don’t Bring Your Boyfriend
A groom asked his gay brother not to bring his boyfriend to the upcoming wedding. Before you cry ‘a-hole,’ there are details that make this a bit messy. The original poster is very supportive of his gay brother, but says that much of the family disapproves of homosexuality. The brother isn’t out to his family, but asked to bring his boyfriend to the wedding – a request which was declined.
“If it was any other occasion I would be supportive obviously, but I don’t think my wedding day is the day to do that. Imagine all the drama and gossip and bull**** that would happen. And I don’t want to get the attention away from my fiancée, that’s her day. And I don't wanna have to worry about that on my wedding day, and I think it’s a pretty good reason,” the groom wrote.
What do you think? Is avoiding family drama a good enough reason to ban your gay brother from bringing a +1?
(Reddit’s verdict: Not an a-hole)
Dad Can’t Walk Down the Aisle... Literally
A bride-to-be wanted to know if she was an a-hole for refusing to let their dad walk her down the aisle, because he literally cannot walk. “About three years ago my dad was injured in a really bad hit and run car accident. He broke just about every bone in his body, and left him paralyzed from the waist down,” she posted.
Now planning her wedding, this bride had second thoughts on letting her wheelchair-bound father participate. “Dad being in a wheelchair would add complications to the wedding,” she explained. “We always talked about him giving me away and having a dance at my wedding and I don’t want to be reminded of what could’ve been at my wedding.” She requested her uncle walk her down the aisle instead, devastating her father. What are your thoughts? A-hole, or not?
(Reddit’s verdict: Big time a-hole)
No Atheists Allowed
A groom caused a whole mass of drama when he told his atheist friends to skip out on his Catholic wedding ceremony and only show up for the reception.
“My future wife and both of our families are Roman Catholic. Catholic ceremonies are long. I'm talking 1 hour of pure mass and an additional half an hour of the actual "getting married" part. If you are not a believer, it is boring... I thought I'll spare [my atheist friends] the trouble," he explained.
When invitations went out, some of the atheist friends reached out, and asked why they weren’t invited to the ceremony. They stated that they would gladly sit through religious customs they don’t believe in to see their friends get married. “Those who I decided to ‘spare’ expressed anti-religious-events stances in the past (not going to Christenings, First Communions & Confirmations) so I thought it translated to wedding ceremonies,” the user said in justification for their atheist ban.
(Reddit’s verdict: A-hole)
Apply Within to Attend
A sister-of-the-bride refused to write an essay to attend the wedding, and her family got mad. Due to the pandemic, the wedding guest list had to be cut in half. Instead of whittling down the guest list to the essentials, the poster’s sister decided to have potential guests fill out several essay questions in order to decide who gets to go and who gets the boot.
“I told her in advance I’m not writing 500 words on why I NEED to attend her wedding, spend my own money on plane tickets/hotels, and buy her a present,“ the user said. “She’s said that to keep things fair if I don’t fill out the RSVP correctly I won’t be saved a spot. I said fine with me.”
Should the poster have just sucked it up and filled out the essay? Or is she right to stand her ground against an unreasonable request?
(Reddit’s verdict: Not an a-hole)
Where do you stand? Sound off in the comments!
17 comments
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Patricia Maria O'Connor
That first bride, in my opinion, is NOT an a-hole. Granny is going to get her dream of seeing her grandson get married. The reception is NOT the wedding, so she has no need to be there. As for the other verdicts: I wholeheartedly agree!
The groom who doesn’t want his brother to come out at his wedding: absolutely. There’s a time and a place for everything, and someone else’s wedding is neither the time nor the place to tell your homophobic family that you are gay.
Atheists or not, why would the groom just assume that his friends don’t want to go to his Catholic wedding? All he had to do was ask.
The essay for the BRIDE’S SISTER …omg. She’s her SISTER - her invitation should be automatic, pandemic or not. The a-hole there is the BRIDE.
The one who doesn’t want her disabled dad to accompany her down the aisle, or attend at all, is a total biatch! As a wheelchair user myself I can imagine her father’s devastation at being barred from the wedding for daring to be disabled. WTF is wrong with her? Her dad isn’t good enough to fulfil his traditional role at her wedding, but you can bet she’ll have no problems going to him for money, etc, now or in the future! If she goes ahead with the ban, someday she’ll look back on her wedding day and feel nothing but guilt and regret. And that will serve her right.
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Alicia Szot
I'm sorry but, there's 98 and then there's 98! I knew a 98 year old woman who could dance circles around younger people!
Granny should at least be given the chance to enjoy the reception. There could be a backup driver to bring her home if it got to be too much for her. Yes, the ceremony IS the "getting married" part, but the reception is the celebration of the marriage, so if Granny wants to go, she should be given the chance!
The bride IS an a-hole IMO.
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Jean Bakula
I agree Granny should go. She has been told what the reception will be like and wants to go. The whole "reception" meaning is that the new couple is supposed "to receive" their guests who spent money and gave time to participate in this special day. Lately Brides seem more concerned with getting drunk and partying on this day where they make a very important vow. I'm not saying the Bride and Groom shouldn't have a great day. But it's their job to make their guests comfortable, not to get wasted. They sound very immature. I am sure someone will keep an eye on Granny.
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Kenneth Clay Ford
Because he is not out and want to use his brother wedding to come I say no it would totally take away from the wedding. That is why I encourage my gay friends be out like myself and you will not need to worry about awkward situations.
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Kathryn Ann Martinson
Number one: Wow !! Just wants to get drunk and let loose with her friends. Says it all. Selfish and NOT the woman I would want to be marrying one of my grandsons. Note: if she gets totally smashed it won't be much of a wedding night ha ha !
I agree with REDDIT in all cases.
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Robert M Spalding
As a father, I was destroyed by the bride refusing to allow her wheel bound father the opportunity to walk her down the aisle. He did not put himself in that chair and to deny him the one father satisfaction of delivering their beloved daughter to her future husband is unreal. I have witnessed wheel bound parents dancing with their daughters at wedding receptions personally and to see the joy in their eyes is unbelievable. That sparkle in their eye and the memory of that time in their life will never fade until they pass from this life to the greater one beyond. Let's all pray that the bride sees the error of her ways and has her dad walk her down the aisle.
On a footnote, I am father of one daughter, who decided to never to marry choosing career before anything else. So I will have that chance for a sparkle in my eye, but does not mean she is loved any less.
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Kevin James Bogan
I’m a disabled father of a bride-to-be & she & her fiance have practically planned their whole wedding around my different ableism. How lucky am I?
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Rev Mark D
People can do whatever they want about wedding guests...just that if I'm doing it, and there is controversy, than my price goes up according to how much BS I have to put up with.
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John P Maher
JUST SHUTUP GET HITCHED and LIVE YER MISERABLE LIFE in SECLUSION, JESUS H. CHRISTand DO NOT FORGET to WEAR YOUR COVID MASK CARA de CULO !!!
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Allen Haas
I'm a little traditional. If the bride's parents are paying for the reception it fits the traditional mold - a celebration thrown by the parents. Bride and groom are the guests of honor. Their opinion should be solicited. No atheists at a religious wedding ceremony - NO. I have seen a Buddhist wedding and I wouldn't call Buddhism theistic. I guess his atheistic friends can't attend the christening or the wedding of their offspring unless their offspring are atheists in which case mom and dad won't be there. Trying to hide the fact that they have atheist friends.
Fill out an application to attend a wedding? NO. What is really meant is we don't want to pay for your supper, sis. You are telling your sister where she is in your pecking order 0k, fine. But you don't have to insult her by making her beg. Inconvenient to have Dad in a wheelchair at your wedding? You will cry a lot at his funeral. NO
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P. Keith Benefiel
Elope.
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Angela MacArthur-Jones
Wow! I agree with the Reddit verdicts on these, but I just can’t believe some people. People have become so self absorbed and worry way too much about what others think. It’s so very sad. The one that really got me was the one about the father in the wheel chair. I recently got remarried on August 20th and my dad passed away in 2004. He never was able to walk me down the aisle in the past due to different circumstances, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want him to. Obviously he couldn’t this time either and I would have given anything for him to do so. A wheel chair should have been the least of her worries and she should have enjoyed her special day giving that to her dad so that she could remember it and cherish it because you never know how long you will have your parents for. She will have great regrets later I guarantee it! Major A-hole in my book, but hey, that’s on her.
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Minister Deidre
I agreed with all of the verdicts except for the last guy. He genuinely felt that he was doing the right thing for his friends based on things they had said in the past. That being said, he really should have asked them if they wanted to come instead of just not inviting them, but he didn't have bad intentions by not inviting them.
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John Casillo
where is their spineless mate in all this?.....drama dooms all
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Colleen McAllister
What this shows me is that weddings have become less about the vows and more about showing off and having fun. There is only one reason to marry someone and that is because you can't imagine your life without them and want to make a commitment to stay with them for the rest of your life. Commitment is the one thing that will keep a marriage. Not the lavishness or perfection of the ceremony. These people are focusing on the wrongvthing.
This is why I always council against archaic marriage traditions and advise folks to consider modern less defined and more flexible relationships. The idea of owning or belonging to another is just another aspect of slavery that still persists and is meant to so as to indoctrinate folks into the thinking that makes it acceptable in other forms.
Be with who you want to be with, and leave them when you dont want to be with them anymore. Nothing should bind another to one they do not wish to be with 1 second longer then the moment they wish to remove the other from their life for good.
be with who you want to be? Why bother getting married put the money towards the vacation with your new partner. I do not own my wife, but I own her vow just as she owns my vow. Early in our marriage, I became physically handicap. My wife who is a 10 Would have had plenty of opportunity to upgrade. After 35 years of marriage, there have been plenty of times that we question our decision but it’s called commitment. Look it up people it’s not for the faint of heart.