distracted boyfriend meme
It's a tough choice.

You’ve heard of a match made in heaven… but what about a match made in hell? That’s what some might call a relationship between a (now former) Catholic bishop and a fiction writer who specializes in Satanic-themed erotica.

Xavier Novell was on his way up the ranks within the Catholic Church, becoming Spain’s youngest bishop at age 41 in 2010, despite his somewhat controversial conservative views – even for the Catholic Church.

Novell has been an enthusiastic advocate of conversion therapy for gay people, suggested that homosexuality is linked to lack of a father figure, and has called abortion “the most serious and terrible genocide in humanity."

He was also the church’s go-to exorcist in the Catalonia region. Even though his views are controversial and he’s relatively young, he was viewed as a man on the ascent, and reportedly met with Pope Francis a handful of times already.

But apparently, none of this compared to the allure of a life filled with Satanic erotica. The former bishop has essentially thrown his career out the window to take up with author Silvia Caballol.

Love at First Rite

Novell’s resignation last month, which followed many meetings with his fellow bishops as well as a reported meeting with the Pope himself, came as a surprise. Initially, Novell, now 52, claimed that he was quitting for “personal reasons” following "a period of reflection, discernment and prayer." 

But new reports give more insight into just what Bishop Novell was reflecting on: Satanism.

Novell met his new partner at a demonology workshop in 2015 (she was presumably there researching for one of her novels). The 38-year-old Caballol is a prolific writer, specializing in Satanic-themed erotica. Her most popular novel is 2017’s The Hell of Gabriel’s Lust, a book about “a journey into sadism, madness, and lust and a struggle between good and evil, God and Satan with a plot to shake one’s values and religious beliefs."

One might describe it as the Catholic 50 Shades of Grey. A short excerpt:

“As if possessed by the demon of lust, I begin to suck and kiss her neck, her lips, her breasts and her shoulders. Our bodies were incandescent and excited, and our sex was inflamed and palpitating.”

Bishop Novell presumably found both her prose and her personality irresistible. The couple is now reportedly living together in Catalonia.

Get Thee to an Exorcist

For Bishop Novell, his resignation was an attempt to do the right thing. “I have fallen in love with a woman for the first time in my life, and I want to do things right,” he’s quoted as saying. But his sudden resignation wasn’t taken well by some of his colleagues. Ironically, the former exorcist’s former employers believed he was in need of an exorcism.

Reports indicate that Pope Francis himself asked Novell at least twice to get an exorcism, believing him not to be in love, or even lust, but possessed by Satan himself. Novell’s other colleagues have repeated that sentiment.

“The issue is not a problem of celibacy, but of infestation,” one of his fellow faith leaders stated. 

Whether Novell is simply in love or actually possessed by Satan is a theological question we’re not equipped to answer. But one thing’s for sure: a young bishop's promising career with the Catholic Church is now dead in the water.

The incident also marks a fascinating new chapter in the age-old battle between the Catholic Church and the power of Satan. 

Safe to say Satan won this round?

99 comments

  1. Patrick Campbell's Avatar Patrick Campbell

    Reverend Patrick When I joined ULC, I had no idea that a side advantage would be the ability to read these ardent threads and put life into an otherwise dull afternoon. I congratulate Bishop Novell for admitting his erotic 'real life' and following it with his erotic lover. Lets allow him his freedom and new life. Peace to you all and soft winds and following seas. Reverend Patrick

  1. Angel's Avatar Angel

    He needed to step down, if your beliefs change, then you shouldn't represent something you nolonger believe...

  1. Christopher R Sherer's Avatar Christopher R Sherer

    Don't seek dominion over others by thought or deed. I am saddened by the display of chest pounding I see in this and all other comment threads. I wish all of you the quite peace of acceptance. Your will is your own and should never be thought to be greater than the wills of others. If you want to control something, control your own outbursts, hateful thoughts, and the need to feel superior. Rhetoric is just that; rhetoric. It is viewed by others like a salesman's or politician's speech. It is empty, has no bearing on the other person, and therefore has no power. I truly do wish you all the strength to change and grow.

  1. Richard Lee Cornell's Avatar Richard Lee Cornell

    Was it his way of getting out of the Catholic Church so he could start his own church and really go from living with little to call his own to possible being wealthy. Guys do not love the same way females do. Males talk of love and easy as they talk about last Sunday football game. With the same passion. Love is what they create between the pages of a from the cover to the last page of a book. Love was created by humans to explain the attachment between the species. I tell my wife I love her and her reaction is that if she ever catches me cheating on her (physical or mental) not only will I find what Hell is like on earth but I will be turn into stone, cast down a deep cold well, and fill out my reminding days where the worms enjoy my body.

  1. Stephen Vaile's Avatar Stephen Vaile

    Comment sections are the bathroom wall of the 21t. century internet and the keyboard is the permanent marker.

  1. James's Avatar James

    I'm happy the bishop freed himself of the pain and sadness that is the benchmark of their religion. It is a death cult, and squeezes every drop of the joy of living out of you.

    Can you imagine what Saul/Paul went through when he had his change of heart?

    Kudos to him for following his own happiness.

    That is the example here.

  1. Ellen Mary Knowlen's Avatar Ellen Mary Knowlen

    This relationship won't last, she will grow tired of him and send him packing. She is probably just using him to help her sell books and get her name out there on the internet, and he will get his heartbroken and be humiliated....

  1. Rev Mark D's Avatar Rev Mark D

    I wonder what c Church Lady would say about it.

  1. Linda Salavarria's Avatar Linda Salavarria

    Oh, the irony!

  1. James Allen Kuck's Avatar James Allen Kuck

    Joseph was married to Mary. Jesus was born the Son of God from Mary’s womb. Jesus did not marry his mother!?!

    1. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

      No, he didn't. The "Holy Spirit" committed adultery with Jesus' mother, who was betrothed to be married to Joseph, but then adultery isn't adultery when "holy beings" or "holy" people do it! At least, the Trinity kept it in the family and Jesus, as part of that, got his share of Mary's consent to sex and sexual activity, too!!

      1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

        How exactly? mary was set to marry Joseph when she became pregnant. Joseph didnt marry mary until after she was visited by the Holy Ghost. Try reading you bible first before commentating on it with your smug superior tone.

  1. Rev. Dr. G. Waldron's Avatar Rev. Dr. G. Waldron

    Here is my OPINION. The further you are on the twigs of a solid trunk, the easier to fall. So many people get so far out in their dogma that one small thing wrecks their whole belief system. They interpret the Bible so strictly and build doctrine on something that has not been revealed to us; when they discover there is no foundation for their unfounded belief, they collapse to the extreme on the other side. Easy prey.

    1. Etha L Moore's Avatar Etha L Moore

      Yes! thank you!

    2. Jamie Michelle Gallo's Avatar Jamie Michelle Gallo

      I agree with your wise words,

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    If they print this it will be my 35th comment out of sixty. I'm really on a roll now! I wonder what could be possessing me?

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    I've still written more than half of these comments, but y'all are starting to catch up. Keep up the good work! It's better than talking about dolphins.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    The first word in my above çomment was supposed to be Fire, not For. It looks like the Android poltergeist is at it again. Nevertheless, there are advantages to proof reading.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    For Lake is a very good song by Bob Segar. Thanks for reminding me.

  1. Rev. Howard Slayton's Avatar Rev. Howard Slayton

    I don’t believe the Church should require celibacy, and they should allow women to receive holy orders. God told us in the Ten Commandments to worship Him, and Him only shall you serve. The devil goes around as a lion, walking to and fro, seeking whom he may devour. The devil seeks to steal kill and destroy. Jesus came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly. The Bishop need pray and spiritual direction. The devil hasn’t won anything. The Revelation of Saint John the Divine reassures us that Satan losses the final battle and is consigned to the lake of fire for eternity.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    It's too bad that few ministers have much to say around here. I would enjoy more dialogue. It gets downright lonely with me doing so much of the talking around here. However, I am grateful that y'all are atleast paying attention.

    1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      This sure beats the hell out of going to those damn A.A. and N.A. meetings I attended for thirty something years. ["I'm good, man. Pass it to the next man.* I'm having even more of a spiritual awakening from writing on this blog. Blessed be!];

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    Ehrman, I am always on good terms with all tolerable people.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    I've been personally acquainted with three Roman Catholic priests who left the priesthood, right here in Galveston County. Two of them became successful psychologists, and the other, for forty something years (the rest of his life) continued being called Father, and was considered by many as the chaplain at some gay bars.

  1. Robert Edward Szekely's Avatar Robert Edward Szekely

    It is the winning of him accepting the emergence and acknowledgement of his natural humanity over unreasonable dogma. He was honest with how he was feeling so he resigned, instead of continuing, and being a hypocrite. The Catholic Church, unfortunately, has not more than once been guilty of--to say the least--being consciously disingenuous rather than having to acknowledge a reality which contradicted their faith.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    Has anyone seen flugo? It seems like he would have something contrary to say about such a Christianity defiant union.

    1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      I hope they didn't catch flugo, and put him back in the home. It could be a long time before we hear from him again. Aw, shucks!

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    I haven't fallen in love with a Satanist woman yet, but there's hope for the future.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    Ehrman, it's often difficult to not have dark imaginings about these silly subjects they give us to discuss.

  1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

    So what. At least he did what he was supposed to do. He left the church. I dont see what the fuss is about this. He decided that his lover was more important then his religion. The only two people who should have a problem with this is him and God. And if God has a problem with this, God will deal with this after the Bishop dies. No one else has any say

    1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      If my god had a problem with me being in such a relationship Is get another god. There are many to choose from. Just thank your old god for having been there when you needed it, and move on. It's as easy as that. And if my girlfriend, the current love of my life, soulmate, goddess of my bedroom, et cetera, was a Satanist, that would inspire me to become the most devout Satanist who ever lived. I'm like a method actor; one who becomes the parts he plays (but snaps back to reality when the show is over(easier said than done). And there's no business like show business, like no business I know. On with the show!

      1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

        Sorry Carla, but you knew what the religions called for when you joined them. So if you dont want to follow their teachings, then leave. Just like the former Bishop did.

        1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

          I'm always glad to hear when someone leaves the Roman Catholic denomination, for whatever reason. I left it long before they expelled me from St. Mary's and St. Patrick's Elementary Schools,in Galveston, Texas. And my life has only been better for it, regardless of whatever might be possessing me.

        2. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

          So, Daniel Gray, you're saying that religions can't ever change their teachings and try to catch up with the times in which they live? Because, if you are, that is clearly not true, since the Inquisition resulted from the church's teaching that "heretics" needed to be tortured until they repented and submitted to Catholic teaching again or to be killed if they didn't. But that teaching and practice were changed and are no longer practiced or believed. Women in the churches weren't able to become priests and ministers before because of church teaching against their doing so, but that teaching and practice were changed and so they can do so now, outside of the Catholic church, anyway. It's ridiculous to either just accept all church teachings without question or leave the church because churches, the same as any other human organizations, can have wrong thinking and practices in them and those need to be fought against and changed and people who oppose those things need to stay in the churches to keep fighting against them and finally overcome and change them!! Just blindly accepting and going along with the wrong thinking and practices in any church or organization whatsoever is like the Nazis' excusing themselves by saying "We we're just following orders" or anyone else's saying that something should continue just because "that is how things have always been done", which kind of "thinking" would still have slavery and racial discrimination in the world if it were followed consistently and is the enemy of all progress and betterment in the world!!

          1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

            No I am saying that you knew what the religion called for when you joined it and by then it was too late to complain that its teachings didnt fit you. And tell me, who exactly are you or think you are to come along and demand that a religion change to suit your views? It didnt join you, you joined it.

            1. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

              All of the other people who fought against torturing and murdering other people "in the name of Christ" or who fought against women's not being given equality and the right to be ministers and priests, which was imposed on them "in the name of Christ", and against all other wrongs and homophobia and corruption in the church also joined the church and the church didn't join them, but fought against all those things, anyway, because they are wrong and need to change!! And it doesn't matter that the church didn't join them because wrongs anywhere in anything need to be fought and not just ignored and people say "Well, that's their business and we should keep our noses out of it". Slavery, discrimination, and lynchings would still be practiced if all people had taken your attitude toward all that. Wrong anywhere is everybody's business!! Nazism wouldn't have been fought against if people had taken your attitude!! Our own country was founded by people's not taking your attitude and, instead, fighting against tyranny and corruption in the British mastery over America!! So, your attitude and thinking are un-American!! Nothing would ever get changed for the better if all people "thought" like you "think"!!

              1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

                Isnt any other different then other religions who have fought and murdered and tortured people because they didnt believe in the same God. And the worst one is Atheism or Humanism. The Supreme Court ruled this a religion...and at last count the followerd of this religion have murdered more people since its start then all other religions in the world COMBINED. So far Atheism and/or Humanism have murdered and tortured well over 1 BILLION people. (Pol Pot/Castro/Stalin/lenin/Mao/Shining Red path/etc)

            2. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

              That's just another way of saying that religions can't ever change their teachings and that people joining those religions can't ever change anything that is wrong in them, which isn't consistent with our actual history of religious reform in this country and world!! You think that if you say something a different way that you have actually said something different, instead of the same old thing a different way, that's all!!

              1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

                No thats just another way of saying look before you leap. Its up to you if you want to believe in a religion or not, but its just a bit too late after you join for you to be complaining about its teachings.

              2. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

                People don't really know what is going wrong or already gone wrong in a religion by just looking at it from the outside, taking potshots at it from there, but only by going into it and joining it and seeing how it actually is run and practiced up close, attracted, at first, by the external image of good in it, not knowing about the corruption in it. You can't fix a car or a heart or anything else with internal problems by just looking at it from the outside, but have to get in there and see what the problems are and fix them. Just as anything is more quickly and easily torn down from within, so it is more logically and quickly fixed from within, but you would have people just never say anything about or try to fix anything that is wrong in a church and just keep their mouths shut and eyes and ears closed (see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil, like the three monkeys) or leave the church!! No progress or improvement of anything has ever happened by people's doing it your way!! As for Communists and other people who make no pretense of trying to be or do good committing more atrocities than religious people do, since they don't even have that much restraint on their actions or thinking, how could it be otherwise? Doesn't a wolf or grizzly bear in the wild do more vicious things than a "tamed" wolf or trained bear living in a circus or zoo or among people does, but still, occasionally, reverts to its natural way of living? How, then, could people living in the wild, without any religious or Godly restraints on them, not also do more murderous or violent things than those people who, at least superficially, have those restraints, but, occasionally, revert back to their natures (such as Mafiosi, Inquisitors, Crusaders, witch burners, and all their ilk, who proclaim themselves "Catholics" and "Christians", but still do what they do? But we don't use wolves or bears or people living in the wild as an excuse for not caring about what tamed animals and people do or doing anything to correct and condemn corruption among these people!! "The world is still the same: you'll never change it" as the song says, but we can change what we can in it. God, grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

              3. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

                Returning any religion to its original purity before the corruption of it set in was what the founder of the religion wanted us to do and keep doing, and not be complacently satisfied with things as they are!! So, it is following the religion to keep fighting and complaining against corruption in it and, conversely, not following the religion to just accept the corruption in it and things as they are.

              4. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

                try and spin it any way you wish. But if you are stupid enough to jump in with both feet then you cant blame anyone but yourself for what happens next. All of these religions have been around far longer then you or anyone alive was a small twinkle in their parents eye. As such once you join its too late to cry about their teachings. All you can do is walk away and find a religion (if you need one) that is more in line with your values but you cannot demand they change for your sake.

              5. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

                What are you talking about that religions can't change and people have to accept them the way that they are or leave them? There has been constant change in and reform of religions since they were founded! And none of those people who brought about those changes left the church, but stayed and effected those changes, without which they wouldn't have happened!! So, once again, Daniel Gray, you prove that you don't know what in the Hell that you are talking about!! People aren't walking around in togas usually anymore, as they did in the 1st century church. People don't burn witches or torture or imprison heretics anymore as they did in the Middle Ages. Priests aren't selling indulgences anymore. Even in the last hundred years or even fifty years, the church has changed and become more human and liberal because people didn't leave the church, but stayed and effected this change. That is what Jesus wanted people to do and keep doing, in order to keep his church alive and growing and moving forward, instead of stuck in complacency and backward "thinking". Your not being able to see or understand or admit that or not wanting to do so is your problem, but your attitude doesn't make any of that not true!! Wake up and smell the coffee and see the truth that is right in front of you and in your face!!

              6. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

                I have. And I say again that you should find a religion that fits your views. there are hundreds of millions of people who like being a christian or a muslum or a follower of Buddah. Who are you and by what right do you have to just walk in and demand they change to suit you? You try that in most churches and mosques and temples and they will tell you to get bent and go pound sand, and thats AFTER they throw you out.

              7. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

                What you are incapable of understanding is that none of these people who reformed their churches left those churches when they found wrong things going on in them, but stayed in them and kept on complaining and working against the wrong things to change them, without which they wouldn't have been changed. Nobody can get that obvious truth into that block of stone head of yours!!! You can say all day and every day that you "have woke up and smelled the coffee and are facing the facts that are staring you in your face", until you turn blue in the face and your head swells up and explodes, and if all that it took to make that actually true were just your saying that it's true, then, I guess that it would be true, but it really takes far more than your saying it to make it true!! Your continued denying and ignoring of the obvious to everyone else truth that people don't leave churches because there are wrong things happening in them, but stay and reform them, as much as they can, prove that you aren't facing the facts and haven't yet woke up and smelled the coffee, no matter how often or strongly you say that you have!! It's a waste of my and other people's time and energy trying to talk any sense to a closed-minded blockhead like you!!!

              8. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

                I understand perfectly. Its YOU who seems to be walking around and spewing things that are so easy to prove wrong and then running around calling names like a 3 year old with a filled diaper.

        3. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

          That's right, Ehrman, there are the dull and the ignorant. However, we must accept others as they are, not as we would prefer them to be. And I'm glad for our differences, even of opinion, for the world would be a truly dull and dismal place if we all thought and acted the same. Nevertheless, I still prefer to decline interacting with the dull and ignorant.

          1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

            Then why are you talking to yourself?

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    You're right about that, Ehrman. The dull and the ignorant do have dull and ignorant stories. But I'd rather go fly a kite than listen to them.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    Finally, it looks like Satan saved a bishop. Praise be!

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    Don't surrender the things of youth, Ehrman! Get in touch with your inner child!!! Ofcourse, that too was discovered and theorized long after your death, so trash the Desiderata, and rewrite it in your next life.

  1. Shango MasterExorcist, D.D.'s Avatar Shango MasterExorcist, D.D.

    As a ULC Bishop, with a DD and Master of Wicca, and Masterexorcist bless him with "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."

    His current path is an excellent atonement and personal evolution for his past attempted conversion of gays. And he must have heard many interesting stories in doing that! And those he tried to 'convert' now have more interesting stories to tell.

  1. Minister Carlos Ricardo Walls's Avatar Minister Carlos Ricardo Walls

    It seems the Bishops' faith waned,As ministers we need to pray for him.No excuse,but he's only flesh and blood,not perfect.

    1. Ilmenheru Terikson's Avatar Ilmenheru Terikson

      We ULC ministers are secularists and in fact against the archaic old traditions. Nothing to pray for where Bishop X here is concerned. He made the right call a woman that can write like that must be a real Succubi between the sheets. Lucky devil he be if you ask me.

      1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

        Like god, I am jealous, Iimenheru 🤗 I really would like to create a comment with the word "Succubi" in it. There's just something about it that begs to be used somewhere here, and you found the place. Well done! 👍🏼

        🦁♥️

      2. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

        Maybe they'll make porn flicks, Ilmenheru, with him in his bishop garb, being burned right off, and her dressed like a devil, brandishing a mink whip, Spurs, and a branding iron which reads 666. I'd definitely buy a DVD of that!

      3. Rev. Dr. G. Waldron's Avatar Rev. Dr. G. Waldron

        Not all of us. I have been ordained since 1977.

    2. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      You're right, Carlos! I can see us praying for them to have a successful relationship. Maybe they can have a ULC wedding during a Satanic Black Mass! We ought to project our thoughts and energy most passionately toward that too. Wouldn't that be super cool?!

  1. Thom's Avatar Thom

    Funny, if you do what they want, you are great. If you don't do what they want you are possessed by Satan. As with most of this, the stories were written to tell of such a creature banished from the heavens because of his "evilness". Well, with all good stories you must have good and evil. I am happy for the bishop to have left on his own terms and not in shame. He is being made to feel shame because he lived the life the catholic church wanted and now he is living his life.

    I mean, the apostles were married as was Jesus being married to Mary Magdalene so why should priests not be married?

    I know so many priests who were "forced" to be in the clergy because it was the good thing for the family to do. I know so may few priests who actually wanted to go into the priesthood.

    I am happy for this man no matter the decision he made. At least he was not forced out for hurting children, being caught on his knees in the confessional or hanging out in a gay bar. He left on his terms and the world is just fine.

    1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      Haven't you heard Thom: "It's better to rule in Hell, than serve in heaven". Personally, I'll go toheaven for the climate, and He'll for the company. And I've got front row seats reserved in my name, to watch Judas Priest perform throughout eternity. I swear we're going to have a Hell of a good time! "Be there, or be square".

    2. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      Thom, that contradicts the story I heard. I heard that Satan banished god from Hell, and sent him to live in that dismal place called heaven, as eternal punishment.

  1. Douglas Robert Spindler's Avatar Douglas Robert Spindler

    Looks like someone didn't find a daemon in Satanist worship. Wonder what kind of kid they will have.

    1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      He'll have horns Douglas, and they'll name him Damien. And he's got my vote, when he runs for president. Haven't you heard: this is the age of Satan. Just go with the flow, man!

  1. Bishop William Dusenberry, DD's Avatar Bishop William Dusenberry, DD

    As a ULC Bishop, with a DD, and a Dth; plus holding “Celebrant” status in both FFRF, and the SHP (Secular Humanist Pantheists)

    I can, without any reservations, state, that the only possible explanation, for being able to actually believe in either a Heaven, or a Hell, (and the angels, devils, Holy Ghosts, and saints who can be prayed to to help one make wine) is that those capable of believing such nonsense, can do so, only because they were religiously-brainwashed since they were mere tottlers.

    1. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

      Why are you bothering to be a bishop if you're an atheist?

      1. Ilmenheru Terikson's Avatar Ilmenheru Terikson

        You do grasp the ULC is a secular ministry largely in opposition to the archaic old faith traditional magical thinking right? We have and proudly many who are servants of the church of secular humanism and other non deity, non magical thinking spiritualists.

        I myself am quite literally the killer of your god in my own faith system. My personal mythology is that of a being who has been since before all that is, that I am the perception that makes light quanta shift from wave to particle to create the substance you call reality. Space is my mate, Time is my mistress, all that is, is my dream manifest. You are because I AM!

        1. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

          You ain't hardly the killer of MY God dude, please.

          What I'm saying is "Bishop" is a thing GOD believing people use to denote something meaningful in our GOD based system.

          Even if you ain't in the same denomination you understand, ecclesiastically, what a Bishop is.

          You GOD DENYING secularist/atheist whatevers should come up with your own terminology.

          Bishops were invented by GOD BELIEVERS.

          You all about REJECTING GOD then reject the terminology WE invented.

          1. Ilmenheru Terikson's Avatar Ilmenheru Terikson

            You seem to fail to grasp that you are clearly not a minister in good standing with the ULC if you espouse insular rhetoric and dismiss another persons faith. You see if you possessed even a toddlers grasp on language you would notice I do not say your god never was, just that I have destroyed him and now those like you worship a dead being. Where as what you said would actually empower me to invoke stand my ground against you, as your rhetoric implies you put insular ideas above the law of society.

            It is always funny how you alt reich christian fascists so often give others the legal right to destroy you while you think you somehow are not the most evil and vile people on Earth.

            Due to the fact you are clearly not a ULC nondenom minister, literally nothing you say has anything in the way of valid substance.

            1. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

              You seem to think that I care about being in good standing.

              Why do you think I care?

              If I am then you are the first person to say something to me about it and if it's a secret then screw your secret cabal of "good standing" judges.

              You got beef with me don't be a punk, state your problem and have courage to engage in a dialog.

              1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

                George, you forgot to end your last word above with the letters u & e. I do enjoy engaging in dialogue with literate people, as opposed to functioning illiterates. Also "ain't" is not a word. Atleast I haven't been able to find it in my Oxford dictionary from the Folio Society. Ofcourse, language is constantly changing, so it could be in a later addition. However, feel free to engage in dialogue with other less intelligible, functioning illiterates on this blog. I'll just stand by, and continue making corrections, until you're through growing up, and become a big boy, upon your graduation from elementary school, when you can write as well as other adolescents.

              2. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

                ?

                Ahhh...oooookaaaay.

                Good point I guess.

              3. Rev. Dr. G. Waldron's Avatar Rev. Dr. G. Waldron

                I think he was using the language of common people, like Jesus would have done, so that anyone can get the message. Ain’t nothing wrong about that.

          2. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

            George, get a grip on yourself, man! It's just a word! And it's not nearly as bad as saying Jesus and Judas sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

          3. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

            I think he did kill your god, George. Have you seen him lately? And if you have, are you sure you're taking the right medication? You aren't washing it down with whiskey, are you. Ofcourse, if you find out your god is dead, that's something worth getting drunk over, for then there won't be a heaven or hell to try to get to, and you might find yourself having to live in the present moment, with the rest of us. Bottoms up!

            1. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

              You have to point out what God you are talking about.

              This clown and his non-god secular whatsi-hoozeeflappadoodle haven't done a thing to my God.

              My God has never failed and ain't failing now.

              I see a lot of "woke" people following their "woke" asses over a lot of cliffs though.

              1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

                George, do you think your god would admit it to you, if someone killed him? It seems like something he'd be embarrassed to talk about, and would want to keep it to himself. I suppose, no matter how many people kill your god he, she,or it could still come back to life in your mind and imagination, where it must have came from, to begin with.

              2. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

                God is where life springs forth from and where life returns to.

                Not complicated.

                "Killing, God does" has nothing to do with anything.

                Those Faithful to the Lord know that. Atheists don't because they don't believe in God. Secularists like to look into microscopes at stuff God made and act like it all came from de noplace and is going to the nowhere.

                Atheists and secularists are nothingologists who spread the gospel of nothingness.

                Who wants a "bishop" to lead them nowhere and to nothing?

              3. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

                Finally George, you said something I agree with.

      2. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

        George, I'm the ULC pope. I have a document that states that. I just got through making it, and I'm not a Christian iether. So, there! Nevertheless, when you are in my presence you are required to bow before me, and kiss my feet! You must then get down on your knees, and I will then tell you what's next. It's no big deal, George. Just think of it as your duty, as a lowly minister, without a higher title.

        1. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

          Bite me.

    2. John P Maher's Avatar John P Maher

      MY MAN DUSENBERRY, YOU HIT THE HELL BELL, WELL SAID SIR, VERY WELL SAID !

      1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

        That's a great song by AC/DC, Mr. Maher. It sounds like you like it, too. Personally, my favorite is Whole Lot Of Rosie. It has to do with earning our green wings.

        1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

          George, the only bishops in my home are pieces on my chess board. One of them is black, the other white, and neither is religious, at all. I've also known some people named Bishop who were atheists! Such sinful behavior. What, from your pedastal on high my Lord, do you think they should change their name to?

          1. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

            The definition I go by is based on this one.

            Old English biscop, bisceop, based on Greek episkopos ‘overseer’, from epi ‘above’ + -skopos ‘-looking’

            The GOD believing church adopted the word based on this etymology.

            Secularist/athiest wack-a-doodle wokesters have co-opted it so just co-opt some other word.

            1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

              George, I also believe in G.ood O.rderly D.irection. The original source of words doesn't matter. How we use them in our current language and speech does. Words and definitions are constantly changing, and being used in different ways by different people. Nobody and nothing is an ultimate authority on language usage, although some may ignorantly think otherwise. If the shoe fits, wear it.

              1. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

                Just type GOD dude when your talking about God ok?

                What's the big deal?

                G-O-D, ain't like it's a swear word or something damn!

              2. Etha L Moore's Avatar Etha L Moore

                God is Life. Always was, is, and will be. Life. So many here speak like He's a gray haired old man on a throne, lol! If I thought of Him like that I definitely couldn't worship Him. Not after reading the Old Testament. There has been enmity between THAT God and myself since I was a 5 yr old kid that told my grandmother , "No, I did NOT want to go to heaven when I died" ! It sounded, well...boring.. I'm still studying the question of God's "being or non-being" . So, Jury is still out for me..I mean...He HARDENED Pharaoh's heart just when he was going to give in! Is that fair? Much less, Godly? BUT- I have ALWAYS loved Jesus. He showed us how to live. And anytime I have made a decision based on my prayers and what I thought He would do, I've never gone wrong. My Mama ALWAYS asked me , what would Jesus do? LONG before it was a marketing slogan on a tee shirt or hat. And THATS my religion. Off subject, I'm sorry, I'm new . On subject- The Catholic Church has always been more about power and politics than faith, hasn't it? I think it's time they let some fresh air in- allow nuns and priests to marry, and allow nuns to become priests and leave the homosexuals alone. For Christ's sake!! Allow women to use birth control!! And stay out of the abortion question. Right or wrong, it's between a woman and her own God- that's hard enough. As for this priests..I think he may just be like a kid in a candy store, lol! And is the woman herself a Satanist? or is she a writer of fiction erotica? Anyway, " it's good for a man to never marry and devote his life to God, BUT it's better to marry than burn..." Etha Moore

              3. Br'er George's Avatar Br'er George

                He is a gray haired old white man!

                Gotta look like somebody and white man fits the bill!

                Always bossing you around and giving yo' ass a good whup because he knows that's his job and it's alright though.

                Easier on the psyche, he ain't so bad alllll the time!

                Especially on payday when he hands me mine check that he signed.

                That's when I love God the MOST!

                YOU DO TOO YOU SAY THANK GOD AND A WHITE MAN EVEN ON YOUR MONEY AND IT SAYS TO TRUST IN HIM.

                And I do.

              4. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

                Etha L. Moore, I'm with you on all of your other points here, except abortion, which doesn't just involve the woman's body alone because a body inside her body isn't her body and shouldn't have to die due to someone's considering it "not a real human being". Of course, if the Nazis defined Jews and other "subhuman" and "inferior" races of grown people out of membership in the human race by calling them "vermin", that can be done even easier to unborn children, who can't speak for or defend themselves at all, by calling them just "fetuses" or "tissue", but calling them "not real people" no more makes that true about them than it made it true about the Jews or black people or any other objects of prejudice. If a woman should be able to do whatever she wants with a body inside her because it is dependent on her for life, then by that same standard she should be able to do whatever she wants with children outside of her body since they are also dependent on her for life and kill them if she chooses to do so and they are a burden for her. As that woman in Texas did who drowned her children in a lake by driving her truck into it and blamed a black man for the crime. If you say that you believe in following Jesus and the saying "What Would Jesus Do?", I believe that he said "Whatsoever you have done to the least of these, my brethren, you have done unto me" and "Do into others what you would have others do unto you". That is what he would do and that certainly includes the unborn, too. Nobody who advocates "choice"(which is a misnomer because they always go for abortion, which isn't choice) would be here if their parents had believed in "choice" and aborted them. So, their existence is due to the contradiction of their position. As for the rest, yes, gay marriage, openly gay priests, women priests, birth control (since safe days for sex in the Catholic church are also birth control and why not have artificial means of birth control as well as natural ones, when we have pacemakers to artificially do the heart's work, as I personally know, and other artificial means of doing the body's work?), by all means!

              5. Etha L Moore's Avatar Etha L Moore

                I know my feelings on abortion seem contradictory to Christian ethics,, and I still struggle with this.. Personally, I couldn't condone abortion for myself. But when you allow the government to make abortion and birth control for teens illegal you're not going to save lives. I think this specific issue should be in the jurisdiction of the woman and her God. More education and free birth control would drastically reduce the abortion rate . Nobody is " for " abortion. But making it illegal has NEVER made it go away...and it never will. It just increases the deaths of the mother and the child. I still feel very inadequate to judge a woman who has felt this was the only choice she had, even though, for me personally, it would be taking an innocent life. We all sin against our God in different ways, and there are no laws against some of the most grievous, in my opinion. So, I can leave this one in God's hands. I feel no need to hand over judgenent to any of this worlds governments to exact punishment on a woman who has been in more dire circumstances than I .

              6. John D. Partin's Avatar John D. Partin

                Ethan L. Moore, we do need more education and free birth control to drastically reduce the abortion rate, but can't just leave this in God's hands, either, because we are God's hands and feet and mouths in this world and He expects us to do something for the unborn to save them from being murdered, too, and not just leave everything up to Him and not take any responsibility about this ourselves. God helps those who help themselves and wants us to participate in our salvation and betterment of the world. Other sins that we are all committing don't make this sin not so bad or excusable. Two wrongs don't make a right. I have a very big problem with the Old Testament God, too, but, as I pointed out to another person here, God isn't responsible for how some people depict Him in the Bible or elsewhere and isn't going to stop them from depicting Him inaccurately or making Him a mouthpiece for their own hatred, violence, murderous thoughts or actions or anything else that they want to ascribe to Him, anymore than He is going to stop them from committing any other sin, since that would be His making that decision for them, instead of their making that decision for themselves, and He wants them to make that decision for themselves. God has always actually been of the same nature as Jesus, but just wasn't presented that way very much in the Old Testament. Making abortion illegal alone, without education against it and about it, as you said, and birth control for teens and other people, won't make it go away, but then neither will laws against murder or theft or discrimination or any other wrong thing or crime make it go away, either, but we don't on that account not have any laws against all of these other things. It is people's hearts and thinking that have to change for abortion or any of these other things to stop and go away, but until our hearts and thinking change, we have to do what we can and have laws against these things.

              7. Etha L Moore's Avatar Etha L Moore

                "...that would be His making that decision for them, instead of their making that decision for themselves, and He wants them to make that decision for themselves" And I am sure it saddens God immensely when we make decisions that He knows are wrong and harmfull to others and ourselves...yet He still allows us to make those decisions. He doesnt prevent us or even condemn us for our mistakes. I agree "God .....wants us to participate in our salvation and betterment of the world.", but i tend toward using a less violent force than this worlds present justice and prison system. I also believe by working to educate everyone not only about abortion , but reach out to all, offering info on the other options they may have. Study the reasons people feel this is theyre only option .Search out other options....teach about these options... Jesus taught. And i believe teaching IS doing something. I believe ministering to others IS doing something. I believe teaching and helping people thru their dark times IS what touches and changes peoples hearts. I am not saying we should do nothing. i am not saying we should leave everything in Gods hands. I am saying i am more comfortable leaving the judgment and punishment in God's Hands. He is her God as well as mine. I will try to touch her heart, but will trust only God with our Judgement and Salvatiom.

              8. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

                And how do you know what he looks like Etha, have you seen him or just posting what you think he might look like?

              9. Etha L Moore's Avatar Etha L Moore

                I don't, and that's not what I said in my post. I have absolutely no Idea what He looks like, if he is a he, she, or it. Or none if the above .

  1. Nicholas J Page's Avatar Nicholas J Page

    Right or wrong you can't help who you fall in love with.But a Satanist really? Good job he's resigned maybe he needs an Exorcism to drive out the devil in both these people.

    1. Ilmenheru Terikson's Avatar Ilmenheru Terikson

      Fun fact you can invoke stand your ground in the U.S. against someone threatening you with an exorcism, due to the well established violence, abuse, and even death they are well documented as being a cause of.

      You are literally espousing evil and violence in your post.

      1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

        You're right Ilmenheru, spinning ones head all the way around, unlike in the movie, will surely cause sudden death, with or without the split pea soup.

    2. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      Nicholas, have you heard that simple minds think simple things? Just saying.

    3. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      However Nicholas, you can help what you do about that love. In some cases it's best to love, at a distance.

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