By now, everyone has likely heard the story of Brock Turner, the Stanford swimmer who was convicted of rape. The case sparked outrage after he received just a six-month sentence despite facing up to fourteen years in prison on three counts of felony sexual assault. Many people feel that the punishment was too light for such a serious crime. So why the short sentence? Some believe it's due to Turner's background he was a successful white athlete from an affluent family, attending an elite university, with an experienced lawyer behind him. His image was further tainted by the fact that he refused to accept responsibility for his actions. This decision reinforced the notion that Turner was yet another privileged kid getting off easy.
After the trial, his father made a controversial Facebook post which drew strong criticism. In it, Mr. Turner lamented that his son is no longer happy and carefree, and insisted the punishment is "a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life." This skewed logic raised a lot of eyebrows and caused some to wonder whether Brock Turner's upbringing could have contributed to his deplorable actions.
"Affluenza" Teen
Another sinister example of entitled children is the infamous "affluenza" teen, Ethan Couch. On a summer night back in 2013, he was driving drunk in North Texas when he crashed his father's car and killed four people. Couch was arrested and convicted, but gained national attention when he received a heavily reduced sentence. His lawyers successfully argued that he suffered from "affluenza", which was sold to the judge as a psychological condition that affects young wealthy people. Essentially, the argument put forward was that Couch's parents raised him poorly and thus he didn't know any better. While a highly dubious legal defense, it did become obvious that the family had severe problems which may have contributed to Couch's reckless actions.
The Parents' Fault?
In both of these cases, the parents appeared out of touch with reality. Instead of coming to terms with the seriousness of the crimes committed, both sets of parents made excuses and tried to argue for lighter sentences. The fact that they were unable to comprehend the consequences of their sons' actions is indicative of underlying issues. Obviously parents cannot be blamed every time a child makes a mistake, but they must take responsibility for failing to teach them basic concepts such as right and wrong. Some people have cited a lack of discipline as the reason why Turner, Couch, and other privileged kids like them end up imbued with such entitlement and distorted senses of morality.
Lack of Discipline
Let's not mistake this fact: individuals must be held responsible for their own actions regardless of how they were raised. Still, the nature of discipline has undoubtedly changed over the last couple of generations, and it seems to have led to a sense of entitlement with today's youth. They expect to be treated a certain way, and believe themselves to be infallible. Just a couple of generations ago, children were raised to treat their elders with respect. "Yes sir" and "no sir" were common ways to address adults, spanking was a typical form of discipline, and most kids had a list of chores they needed to do every day.
Never Told "No"
However, parenting practices have evolved. These days they tend to focus on ideals of compassion, patience and understanding. Some would argue they do so to a fault. Parents are told by experts that they must avoid telling their children "no", and instead of using old-school discipline, to simply redirect their children's attention when they engage in improper behavior. This new-age form of parenting includes:
Referring to consequences as discipline instead of punishment
Not spanking or using any form of physical discipline
Never yelling or speaking negatively to children
While this philosophy does resonate with a lot of parents, some worry that it can instill children with a false sense of entitlement.
Takeaways
Since kids are rarely told "no", they expect to always get their way. This trend is characterized by an "I want it, and I want it now" attitude which seems to be more prevalent than in generations past. Still, this is only one aspect of the issue. After all, disrespectful kids can't cause that much trouble. The larger consequence is long term when children carry this attitude of privilege with them into adulthood. A cynic would argue today's parenting tactics are producing a future generation corrupted by entitlement. Do you agree? Are we dealing with an epidemic of entitled children? If so, what should be done about it?
33 comments
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Maxim Dement'ev
please edit this blog post. hitting children is abuse and shouldn't even be suggested.
or at the very least, make it clear that hitting and yelling at children is abusive. it doesn't matter what the age or circumstance may be.
I grew up in a violent household and it made me a really bad person in my teens. I did many horrible things even though I was spanked and yelled at. It did't stop until I was 16 and my parents finally divorced.
I've had to come a long way to become the person I am now, and none of it came as a result of being abused. It came from loving people showing me better ways to live. Strict discipline can be taught with gentle and loving compassion. violence is a result of impatience.
Don't want an entitled child? Too bad. That's the nature of children. They are hard to deal with and want everything fun and nothing that's actually good for them, but guess what? You're the adult. You have to be smarter than them, more patient than them, and with loving wisdom guide them on the right direction. If you chose to ignore this and give in to their every demand, you will have an entitled child guaranteed.
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Kelly Lynn O'Brien
It's the corrupt legal system. Parents find the best attorney they can and give as much money necessary to get the best possible sentence.
Judges and attorneys wash each other's backs. Attorneys can "call in favors". Other kids are receiving stronger punishments so these kids can go about their merry business of wreaking havoc. Kids don't have the resources to "buy out" their sentence.
The well to do children know they won't suffer for their crimes so they don't even try to be decent people. They aren't good friends, or good workers. They just don't care about anyone or anything. Life isn't precious to them. Life is just about "smash & grab", "I do what I want".
There's an evil behind it too. They feel so much that they are better than everyone else AND they feel everyone else is insignificant. I guarantee the crimes they are caught and "punished" for are a drop in the bucket to the crimes only the victims know about.
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Planetary Paul
George Carlin summed up the education thing nicely here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILQepXUhJ98
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eliud colbath
You want money to go to the mall.wash the car.you want money.cut the grass.you want money.vacuum the house. Etc. Thats one way.another wayis take away.that toy I was going toget you. No more because of your behavior this morning . I did that.thats a form of disidiscipline l used.my kids learn.there are consequences on life on what ever our action are.raise them right and they will not turn from their ways. Reward and discipline .this makes them smart and strong in the eyes of GOD.
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Linda Weeks
The problem of entitlement is real. I see a t every day at the schools I work at. The crux of the problem is in the acceptance of the.behaviors. It begins in the home, is reinforced at public schools that are no longer able to hold kids accountable for their own behavior, and cemented by a toothless juvenile justice system. It comes down to this, if u have a child RAISE them. Teach them that we r all dependant on each other! Discipline them and nurture them. That is your responsibility as a parent.
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Tonya Parker
Spare the Rod spoil the child, Is a sin of the parents, we have to set the pace in the lives of our children, we have to be the role models of our youths. God want people who are able to lead and teach a generation of leaders. We see that the media has to much influences on our children. Know your child. Now start your evaluation and see what you come up with. Is this the child you raised or has society raised the child you had.
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Dennis E. Loucks
Spare the rod and spoil the child. While extreme as a statement has the merit of teaching children actions have consequences. Also better a child learn no young than older. This trend started a lot further back than you may realize as well. I remember getting a white ribbon for participating in spring school contests as a child . When I asked the teacher why I got a ribbon when I wasn't even close to third place no less winning the teacher told me in effect; that the participation ribbon was because all of us kids deserved a ribbon and shouldn't be left out. This was in the Seventies. So sometime before I was in grade school adults had already started teaching children that you were entitled to a reward no matter your ability or effort. I didn't believe it as a child and I have seen it doesn't work that way in reality as an adult. Yes your child is Special, too you. Maybe not as much to the rest of us. Teach manners, hard work and responsibility is what I say.
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pops
Above all, do not co-sign for your child's student loans.
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John Owens
As for the original question regarding entitlement, over half the population think housing, education, medical care, food, and gambling/drug money are entitlements, so YES, the children and far too many adults think they are entitled to far too much.
I think they SHOULD be entitled to two responsible parents who provide for them and spend time with them and try to teach them to be clean, eat right, to earn their way and not steal or bully others. 10 year old children do not need cell-phones except in very rare, special cases. They don't need the latest X-box game or Wii game and we tend to go way overboard on birthdays and such. Then we feel guilty because children whose parents are not together don't have all that, so we tend to want to give them too much through socialist programs, so their parents never learn that you only deserve what you earn through honest work, and the children do not realize that things they take for granted require the work their parents performed to buy them.
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peacheyt
Unfortunately too many parents have lost sight of the fact that school was never meant to raise your children for you. That job is still left to mom and/or dad, and with the current economy that is difficult if not impossible. Families need two wage earners or in the case of single parents too often they need to work two jobs. That makes up about 80% of families today and too many people leave their kids at home after school to be raised by the TV.
Now, I'm 65 years old and my son is in his late 30s and even back 25 years TV programming was not all that bad with Nickelodeon and reruns of the 50s programming the TV could do a not too bad job of teaching right from wrong..
Today you couldn't find a worse way to raise your kids than under the influence of TV. It used to be that in all forms of entertainment really did teach that the good guy always wins and that evil, or the bad guy always lose or at least have to pay for their actions. Not so any more. Today the bad guy nearly always wins, evil pays, and the good guy always comes in last. God help us all when todays 1st through 7th graders become law makers and Judges and eventually one will be elected President and with a moral compass that was developed today I shudder to think!
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lolno (@LolNoNom)
I feel it's wholly wrong to assume the two (parental discipline and entitlement) are related at all... but I also have found studies that show physical discipline literally hurts more than helps at all. So no matter how much anecdotal evidence a commenter has, it means nothing in the face of the studies that have shown otherwise. So that just leaves regular parenting. Not sure where "entitlement," which is a rather large sweeping generalization, comes into this at all. The excuses from the parents and lawyers in the examples are just that, excuses. Meaningless.
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John Owens
Dr. Benjamin Spock backtracked most of his teachings, AFTER so many "enlightened" people had already accepted them, and we and our children and grandchildren are reaping the fruits of leniency. If you talk to people who work in prisons, you will often hear that many of those incarcerated have no real concept of right and wrong. If you can do it without punishment, it's ok, and if not, then you shouldn't do it, unless it is WORTH the punishment. Of course no one should beat a child, or be cruel to them. Any punishment should only be administered as a teaching tool. When we teach children right from wrong at an early age, WITH LOVE and firmness, those values taught will become part of their thought processes, with limits and boundaries being set inside their minds, rather that outside their bodies. The purpose of all discipline should be to teach self-discipline and self-control. I know people who very seldom spank their children, who are able to discipline them very well mostly with words and some revocation of privileges. Others just nag at them, and let them terrorize other people. If a child has a conniption in public, just to get their way, I believe that child should be popped, on the leg or the hand, instantly. If they learn to control that behavior at an early age, in their home, they will not exhibit that behavior in public. We are supposed to guide and control them, and not let it be the other way around.
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Thomas
The entire set of rules we raise our children by have changed. Thank the media, government and the all the marketing geniuses that have prepped the minds of young children that become parents. Everything in society has changed to "now" news, sports, and what ever you want thanks to modern technology. Hillary Clinton said it best it takes a village and the village of elitist listened and they changed us. People need to relearn life if it is ever going to change.
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Minister Dave
As always ulc you have great civic news and the abusers of being too good, jail would do U good , no ma ma. Bless you. You are held responsible sonny, your dad may be part to blame
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Zeke Hanzl
Children and adults must learn that actions always result in consequences of some kind. If the person realizes what consequences would follow a particular action so much the better...sometimes kids simply don't know that certain behavior can yield negative consequences. If they do, then the promised or expected consequence must be applied as predicted, they must ALWAYS follow.
Regarding any kind of physical punishment, beating, strapping spanking etc., this response to an action should almost NEVER be applied. Violence feeds on itself, the child learns that the way to deal with issues is through violence. A number of societies never apply corporal punishment to children and almost invariably these kids turn into caring, non-violent adults.
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Susan
Absolutely right!
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Midwest Dad
I disagree, I think inconsistency is the key to good discipline. It keeps them guessing!
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Planetary Paul
> inconsistency is the key to good discipline.
I think that should read: inconsistency is the key to certain disaster.
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Susan
The problem is more pervasive than just children. Throughout my teaching career, I was shocked and dismayed to find my students becoming less empathetic, and more self centered. It is easy to blame parents but I believe that we need to go back several generations. While discipline at the end of a belt certainly works, it also robs a child of self worth. I think that the sixties were in many ways a counter to the culture of rigid discipline of previous generations. However, we have gone too far. Many of us fail to teach our children that some things are inherently--like taking advantage of a vulnerable individual such as the young woman who fell victim to Brock Turner. We must return to a culture that promotes other centered thinking or we are doomed.
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Susan
Sorry that should have read "inherently wrong."
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Bri
This has me remembering back here 20 yrs ago when my family was in the military we were never allowed to tell our kids NO! We weren't allowed to spank them at all. I see in public where a young child even in public schools around here kids are allowed to disrespect their elders an throw temper tantrums if they don't get what they want when they want it. Since We were never allowed to tell our children No or spank them growing up we just told them okay if you want this then you go get a job by the time they hit teenage years an if they were younger well they got what they wanted but they had to give away something else of theirs to another child who needed clothes or toys. They didn't like that idea an usually temper tantrum was voided an they decided what they had was enough for them. The problem is the gov'ts now owns the children of this generation they have told them that they don't belong to their parents from the time they are born they belong to them an everything they have belongs to them too. It's really sad how society is become.
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Minister Norman
Yes... And Common Core has dumbed it down even further; where "agreed upon" notions become "FACTS".
I was a teacher, but After 4+ years, decided not to clear my credential and continue on after being called into the deans office for sending an extremely disruptive student to the office and giving him demerits.
The entire class applauded me, as he was always the disruptor, I was later informed ( I was an AP English Substitute at the time), that I was interfering with the College Track of a child from "One of our better families, who by the way also donated substantial finds to build their new sports complex".
That speaks for itself.
I was happy when that assignment ended. This and several other such experiences at "Better (read richer) schools, and I didn't want to continue in the profession.
Sadly this is the reality most teachers live daily.
It's bad enough at private schools, but Common Core is actually indoctrinating all of the piblic schools into mediocrity.
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Pastor Stephen
I totally agree,the education system is failing our children.my child is now 33 yrs of age , at age 16 when she wanted a g job, she came to me in tears, I had to teach her to make change for a dollar. Years later , after graduating, with a great grade point average, could not tell me what time it was by reading a wall clock, shamefull. Tha basics are not taught, history , God and country are all but gone in our schools, it's a sad time in history in many aspects .
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David A Griffith
Common Core is a disaster, another great idea from a Republican. They want to dumbe down education through ideas like that. They have pushed through charter schools and vouchers as well. They also have gotten what they wanted, enough of an ignorant population to be fooled by a politician, the problem for them is it is not the one they want, they got Trump. They brought it on themselves. Someday. The not to distant future there will be an even greater number of ignorant people and then.....
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Willie
IMHO:
No child should be beaten, nor a punishment meted out by an out of control adult.
But if a child needs correction I believe that the lowering of pants and underwear and a trip over a parent's knee will deliver the message that their actions will have undesired consequences. Better a spanking from a loving parent now than a judge's order later!
I was never spanked by my parents as a child, but I now acknowledge that I would have been better served if they had. I would have learned lessons earlier than to try to adjust in my young adulthood.
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Pastor Deb
Spanking is only appropriate up to a certain age. I mean really, what comes from spanking a 17 year old?
On the other hand, by that age, a child should have learned appropriate values and shouldn't be behaving in such a manner if we do our job when they are younger. For example, why do children under 14 need iPhones?
As far as the sentencing goes, as someone who spent 25 years in the legal field, the lawyers were just doing their job, which is to do their best for their clients.
Sadly, that does often mean an affluent criminal will receive a better defense because you should be getting more with high paid counsel. That doesn't make it right, but it is the way it works
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Maxim Dement'ev
hitting children is abuse
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Minister Norman
PSSS: A real starting point is Political Reform, so that all our voicrs are heard and matter... Write your Congress Person, pressure your Senator, to overturn "Citizens United" (which says Corporations are people, that, not who, can contribute anything they want), and fight to make Lobbiests Illegal (so that each voice must directly engage "Our Representatives"), and make Political Action Committees (PACS) illegal, and force the Networks, including cable, to once again provide free time for candidates, and bring back "Equal Time", so that Networks and the "news" media elite are not "The deciders" (as W so ridiculously put it), in deciding which candidates merit airtime, and insist on campaign finance reform, and disallow personal campaign funding, or "Self-Funding", work for wage equality, and put an end to Golden Parachutes for CEOs who wreck companies and our economy.
BTW, to date not one Wall Street White Collar Crook has been indicted, let alone gone to jail: I blame the SILENT MAJORITY, all those within the 99% who saw what was happening, then what actually happened, and said and did nothing... We get the society we tolerate, and work for, and all those silent sulking voices were taken as a great big mandate by the powerful, or at very least as a sign that the SHEEP will not fight back, and are thus ripe for the culling. Time to wake up!
Love, Light, and Freedom my Brothers and Sisters!
Minister Norman
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Minister Norman
PSS: Pop it did it again! Sounds like a song, of the damned.
Love, Light, and FREEDOM!
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Minister Norman
"OOPS" NOT "Pop.
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Minister Norman
PS: Apologies for the typos... It should have been "...Ronald Ray-Gun TOOK us on a downhill slide...", but "Autocorrect" (that I cannot seem to turn off on the Android GOOGLE INVASIVE Smart(ass)phone seems to know better than me, and after I proof my text, it decides what's what.
Invasive Technology would made a great Blog topic ULC!
Oh well...
Love, Light, and Freedom - Always!
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Minister Norman
We are dealing with a rising Oligarchy in this country (and in all "Developed Countrie"), as a direct result of the economic disparity that has been allowed to continue and take over our society, by the raping of our economy.
Obama bailed out Main Street, only after 65 MILLION homes were foreclosed on nationally (GOV numbers so probably higher), and W before him originally trainwrecked or economy with help only for big business, and Clinton before him with NAFTA, and George H.W. before him, and Reagan (who deregulated everything) before him, and Carter (a BIT less so, which is why they got rid of him), and Ford, and Nixon before them were all for the Rich newly minted and old guard Robber Barons ; and perpetrated in the guise of helping "The Job Creators". Nonsense.
Nonsense! This more recent rash of privileged punks (the spawn of careless money) is what the world saw in the Gilded Age, where the faults and outright crimes of the wealthy were hidden, swept under the rug, or merely dismissed by the Rich cronies of these families (think "The Great Gatsby" as one example), and after Roosevelt leveled the playing field just a bit, and Kennedy and Johnson sought reforms, Nixon, but especially sainted Ronald Ray-Gun, too us (the middle class and poor) on a downhill slide back to THEIR "Good O'S Days" of excess and impunity... Which is what The Powers that Be, and especially the Globalists (or Billionaires without Borders) want to return to; good times for all those who are from the "Right Families" anyway.
We MUST speak out, speak truth to power, or we or one of our loved ones will be the next victim of their excesses.
It's important to pay attention, otherwise it all seems like some indiscernible mystery... Which it is not.
Fight the good fight always, speak out, stand up, speak truth to power; that is how we actually "Take back America" and OUR world from those who would profit off of misery, murder, and WAR.
Trump is not the answer, neither is political insider Hilary... Bernie was my choice, but the media and the "Super Delegate" system dismissed him before he even began. We need real change we can not just believe in, but live.
So as you "Hold your nose for Hilary, also pressure her to do that which is right, as we all subscribe to here.
I wish you all Live, Light, and Freedom!
Minister Norman.
Spanking IS NOT ABUSE, but only accepta ble from age of awareness (3yrs +) until other forms of punishment are understood and more of a lesson (5-6yrs) Spankings should be a means of getting the Childs attention thwarted to a 'specific' unacceptable behavior. Spankin should NEVER be used as a means to Embarass nor Abuse or Shame. Before the age of 3, a child will unknowingly do unacceptable behaviors but will not understand or associate the behavior as 'unacceptable' from a spank....a "NO-NO" and, Redirection will prove much more effective.